This one's for the girls. Today I'd like to talk about Boobs.
Boobs...Breasts...Tits...Tatas...Jugs...Melons....and other vulgarities too.
They come in all shapes and sizes and colors. For some weird reason men seem to find them sexually appealing. They give our children life sustaining food and they form a major part of the curvy female figure.
Pretty Impressive for two mounds of fatty tissue hanging from your chest, right?
Some women have tiny boobs, some have huge knockers, and some men even have boobs...kindasortaish.
Today I want to mainly talk about my boobs. My current bra size is 42DDD and no...your shocked reaction of "wow" and/or "eww" does not surprise me...I get it all the time.
I assure you though that they are not a blessing bestowed on me, allowing me the attention of creepy, horny men by the dozens without a single drawback. I would trade them away in a heartbeat.
When you have oversize Boobs you need and oversize bra...preferably more than one because chances are that your super size ladies will break out sooner rather than later. Where do you get such a bra? You have two choices, a Plus size store or the internet. You probably want to try on your bolder holder to make sure it fits correctly so off to Lane Bryant you go. At a specialty store that you can expect to spend about $40 for every bra you buy. That's right, Walmart doesn't sell your size on the 14.99 rack so you have no choice but to fork over the cash.
It get's worse, ladies. Because while your less busty friends are showing you their new rainbow polka dot bra with pink lace on it's dainty little straps you'll be locking your drawers hoping they won't find out that your bras come in two colors: Black and Beige, they have not one, but four hooks in the back and 2 inches of Padded Shoulder Strap.
"Well" you're thinking "At least my bra seems comfy". I don't blame you my small-breasted friend. It looks and seems comfy enough at first. But i assure you, after an hour of activity you'll begin to feel the strain on your back from the weight constantly forced upon your shoulders. Never fear, however. You'll get used to to it. Those red marks on your shoulders will seem normal in a year or so. The pain will become something you just live with because you have no other choice.
Well I've decided that, like the rest of me, my boobs need a size reduction so let's cross our fingers that Chubbygurl can work off her knockers in exchange for modest, perky, lightweight boobs that any woman could adore.
